Behavioural Standards Guidance (Revised core values) - October 2024
In this section
- 1. Introduction
- 2. Scope
- 3. Confidentiality
- 4. Roles and responsibilities
- 5. Acceptable behaviour
- 6. Unacceptable behaviour
- 7. Defining discrimination (direct or indirect), victimisation, bullying, sexual harassment and harassment
- 8. Cyber bullying
- 9. Determining whether unacceptable behaviour is taking place.
- 10. Capability, conduct and positive management
- 11. Learning and Development
- 12. Resolving concerns relating to unacceptable behaviour
- 13. Formal action
- 14. Third party harassment
- 15. Malicious complaints
- 16. Ensuring equality of opportunity
- Appendix 1 - Definitions
- Appendix 2 - Managing Performance
- Appendix 3 - Informal Ways of Resolving Conflict
- Appendix 4 - Managing Conflict
- Appendix 5 - Standards of behaviour key contacts
Appendix 3 - Informal Ways of Resolving Conflict
1. Direct communication
If your discussions seem to be “stuck” try another way. For example, if the person isn’t answering your phone messages, try email or a face-to-face conversation. If oral conversations are going around in circles, try including another person to facilitate, or write a letter.
2. Explaining the impact on yourself
One way to improve respect when having a difficult discussion is to use “I statements” rather than “you statements” that is explaining how you feel and what you want rather than interpreting or judging what the other party did or second-guessing the other party’s motives.
A variation on this approach is to explain:
When you…. I feel…. Is this what you intended?
That is, you explain as factually as possible how you reacted to what the other person(s) has said or done (or not done), and then explain how you feel this has impacted on your working relationship. You can then ask the other person to respond.
The other person(s) might acknowledge that their intention was indeed to create more distance between you. On the other hand, they might recognise this was an unintended outcome of what they did and begin a discussion of how to change their communication style and improve your relationship in the future.
3. Writing a letter
Putting your thoughts in writing can be very helpful to clarify your own thoughts and to think about what you want to say and how you want to say it to the other person—who can read the letter and reflect on its contents in privacy and without the pressure of having to give you an instant response.
A letter should have 3 parts:
a. The facts as you perceive them – with no interpretations or opinions. What an audiotape or videotape would record.
b. Your feelings or reactions. The impact, the difficulties or hurt that now exist.
c. The remedies you propose. What you think should happen next, your ideas for constructive next steps, or future “ground rules.”
Sometimes it is helpful to write a letter even if you don’t give it to the other person(s). It may help you to understand your feelings and identify your priorities, and it may also serve as a “script” for what you want to emphasize when you talk directly with the other party.
4. Asking an impartial third party to facilitate
Sometimes it is helpful to involve someone independent and impartial to support communication between you and the person you may be having trouble with and help you resolve your concerns constructively. This could be your line manager, a trade union representative or a HR Business Partner who can use their skills to facilitate between individuals on an informal basis. Confidentiality must be maintained by all parties involved in the process.