Guidance for Colleagues

Page updated: 31/05/2023

Are you are a work colleague of a victim/survivor, or a perpetrator of domestic abuse, domestic or sexual violence?

If you think a work colleague is suffering abuse, you can help.

The stress of living in an abusive relationship is likely to impact on an individual’s capacity to perform to the best of their ability at work, and it is unlikely that they would be free from the abusive behaviour while at work.

As a work colleague you are in a good position to be able to identify changes in behaviour, dress, or appearance that may indicate domestic abuse.

 Your Role as a Work Colleague

You are encouraged to respond appropriately if you suspect that a colleague is experiencing or perpetrating abuse. Let them know you have noticed something is wrong.  Individuals may not want to discuss the abuse, but your concerns should be raised in confidence with your manager. Some victims of domestic abuse, domestic or sexual violence will feel unable to accept help, which can be frustrating. Offer support where possible, but do not force an individual to disclose abuse, or to follow a course of action they are uncomfortable with.  Let them know they can get emotional support for themselves and any children they may have.

Our Help and Support page has sources of support available in Carmarthenshire and where possible you should discuss seeking support with your colleague.

If you do feel able to raise the issue with your colleague, our Asking Difficult Questions page offers examples of how to ask the question.

It is not your responsibility to stop the abuse, but you can play an important role by highlighting your concerns.  You should:

  • believe what they tell you and show you care
  • not expect them to make a sudden decision
  • help them to explore the choices they have
  • not mediate or be the contact person between them and the abuser
  • assure them they are not alone and there is help available
  • encourage them to speak to
  • offer practical help, such as the use of your address for post, telephone or computer
  • encourage them to take all threats seriously and report the abuse, and
  • never minimise the threats made by the abuser.

If you believe a child is suffering, you should report your concerns to your line manager so the right support can be offered.  If there is a risk of harm or you believe the child is in immediate danger, you should contact children’s services/the police straight away.

 Confidentiality

Any concerns about a colleague in work should be raised in confidence with your manager and where possible, with the permission of the individual.

Never divulge personal information about work colleagues to others, including other employees, without their permission. Remember that a perpetrator may contact a victim’s workplace in order to gain information about them, or to learn about their whereabouts.  

You should not answer enquiries from members of the public about colleagues’ working arrangements, such as their hours of work or shift pattern.  Never tell the caller where the employee is and what time they will be back or tell the caller that the employee is on leave.

 Support

Witnessing a work colleague experiencing domestic abuse, domestic or sexual violence can be traumatic. and you may feel powerless or unable to help. Remember that you can seek support in confidence from your line manager, the Council’s Occupational Health Unit or from the local or national helplines listed on our Help and Support page (you do not have to be a victim yourself to contact them).

Unless you are a trained and qualified specialist or counsellor, you should not assume those roles or try to solve the individual’s problems.

If you feel burdened by additional work that a colleague experiencing abuse is unable to complete, remember that you can raise this issue with your line manager.

 

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